After decades of searching, doubting, fighting, struggling, giving up, despairing, causing grief, suffering, Empathie came my way… what a discovery!!! Finally no more ‘alone’ talking to my murderous inner critic, but another ‘wise’ external voice , namely that of Empathie made its appearance…. Initially not very welcome, after all, we had been talking for years, me as fearful slave, my inner critic as mighty ruler! ASBL
Empathie invalidated his superiority, what he had to say was anything but the truth, even worse: it was destructive nonsense! At the day centre, I learned to recognise the false tricks of his strategy, the big lies he made me believe in, the fallacies of my thinking. NO, anorexia is not just an immense problem of eating or not eating! It is just one of the inner critic’s tricks to keep me in his power, mould me to his will, make me lose my own ‘self’…. Eating in community was a huge challenge for me.
It was made clear to me in a very loving, gentle way that there was nothing ‘wrong’ with eating a delicious, healthy, beautiful salad, prepared according to the standards of nutrition. I soon got a feeling of ‘safety’, nothing could happen to me, my inner critic was not alone in this, there was another voice that encouraged me and did not discourage me… that voice came from the kind people around me. And yes, my inner critic did not give in easily, he resisted fiercely, did not want to lose me… but with every meal at Empathy, his power diminished, thanks to the endless patience, the great understanding, the touchingly gentle attention… I had found a safe haven, here I felt strong! (How delicious, tongue-tied a chocolate could be…) Gradually I expanded my ‘action radius’ (i.e. fighting, but eating sufficient and delicious food) further, what could be done at Empathie had to be possible elsewhere too! My inner critic was silenced more and more…, yes he is still there, but whether I want to listen to him is up to ME!
Thank you EMPATHIE, words fail me!